Freedom
by Narmara
Summary: Fem!Tsuna Warning: Self-harm! Self-hate! Summary: Oh, my child. What have your siblings driven you too? To break your wings and to try to cage your soul. Your true other is out there somewhere. You must find him. I give you a chance to live without them. When you are finally true to your heart and flame then your wings will be recreated to match. Good luck my daughter.
1. Chapter 1

Alright, so first this is a plot bunny that would not leave me alone while i was showering and demanded i write it down. Now I have no idea where this story is going to go or even if it is going to continue. I have been working on My Brother, My King in my free time. I don't have much of it however due to work and school. I will try to update it soon but i can't promise anything yet. I'm having issues with some scene transitions right now. So this is a fem!Tsuna story mostly due to the fact it is awkward as all heck for me to write from a boys perspective. I'm thinking this will be R27 maybe...or maybe G27?

* * *

"I hate them." Brown eyes narrowed at the mirrored image of the feather wings sticking out of her back. Pure white feathers lined and filled the wings. They looked like clouds of white, fluffy and comforting, beautiful and picturesque. Her jaw clenched and she flared the wings as wide as she could in her bathroom. She looked at her own form. Brown hair and eyes, short stature with a petite frame and scowled deeply. She looked beautiful. Some people had even said heavenly and she was filled with self-hate. She hated the fact that she was short only reaching 5'2" in height. She despised the fact she was petite and slim. Easy to grab and hold. Her eyes were drawn to the only thing she loved in the mirror, a blade. The blade had a jagged edge, made to serrate bone and flesh apart with ease. It handle fit perfectly in her hand and it had been a true pain in the ass to get ahold of. None of the people she lived with would ever allow her to hold and use a weapon. They had no idea that she had the sword commissioned for her use. Even the man who made it was under the impression that it was for another angel and she was just delivering the request. This blade would be the key to her freedom. She hefted the blade high, feeling its weight and how the end was weighted to be heavier than the rest.

She arched her wings back spreading them wide. She lifted the blade over her head and let it drop. Agony darted across her mind, sparks lighting up the far corners of it as she dragged the blade across her wings, aiming at the joint that attached them to her. She bit down on her lips to keep her scream in. She sawed, the angle awkward but needed, the blade catching her skin below her shoulders and ripping it as well. Rivers of blood cascaded down her back and tears down her face. It hurt, it really hurt but that pain was nothing on why she was doing this. She had been betrayed by all those who would covet her but instead caused her pain. The first wing dropped to the ground like a stone and the sword with it. Her hands shook as agony coursed through her. She turned and picked up the sword in trembling hands. She knew if she stopped for even a moment she would not cu the other abomination off her back. She would continue to be caged and her heart hunted. She refused to be stuck here in this hell of their making.

She lifted the sword high and let it drop against her wing. The angle was wrong though and as it bit into her skin she knew it would scar even worse than the other one. The agony faded as she sawed through the wing and into her shoulder. She yanked on the sword desperate to finish what she started. With a thump the sword dropped and her agony flared as it caught the back of her leg on the way down and sliced into it. She spun around and swayed. Her blood pooled on the floor around her only stopped from reaching out of the room she was in by towels she had set down earlier. She dragged herself over to her desk and grabbed the bandages she left on it. She wrapped her leg first and then began to bandage her back, knowing she would have to have someone else bandage it later. Later, when she was as far away from here as she could get. She looked at her blade on the ground and stumbled over to it. She lifted it unsteadily and shoved it into the sheath she had on her waist. It could be cleaned later.

She needed to leave before someone found out what she had done. She scowled at the thought of it and yanked her brown cloak over her clothing and turned to her window. She slipped through the curtains and looked at the moon. Just after midnight, perfect. She cracked it open and slipped on the outside, latching it closed on the outside tightly. She had thirty minutes to get off the property and some decent distance away before the patrols came around this side of the mansion. She slipped off the ledge, landing unsteadily on the ground some ten feet below. Only her inhuman nature saved her from the broken bones that should have occurred from such a fall. Her cloak helped her blend in as she moved swiftly across the ground to the fence line. She paused at the edge of it as a bush rustled noisily. Her heart pounded in her throat. She couldn't be caught already, not yet. She hadn't even made it off the property yet. A rabbit hoped out of the bush and she let out her breathe in a whoosh. It wasn't a patrol or even one of the others. She was safe for now.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" A voice from behind her startled her. She spun making sure her sword was hidden from view too look at the ones who found her.

"Looks like someone was trying to sneak a peek at the principessa," A blonde boy said to his taller companion.

"Stupid kid," A man with long silver hair said shaking his head. "Go back the way you came before we kill you."

"What? Squalo, I want to kill the fool," The blonde boy whined.

"No, Bel. The kid didn't see anything and he didn't get very far. I don't feel like cleaning up the blood so the brat doesn't see it." Squalo looked over at the female in disguise and shook his head. "This isn't the first time some kid has been dared by his friends to try to sneak a look at the brat. Now get out of here before I let Bel have his way."

The girl nodded quickly and turned and speed walked her way across the boundary leaving her two guards behind as Bel whined at Squalo about 'ruining his fun'. As she got further from the boundary her whole body started trembling as a mixture of elation and terror crashed through her. Her eyes set firmly in front of her as she forced her feet to keep walking determined not to stop until she had reached a town at least a few days away from here. And head start she could get would help. She found though as she walked her leg ached more and more. She managed to make it to the road before she collapsed, her leg giving out and refusing to hold her weight anymore. She looked at it and the world spun dizzily, blood soaking through. Her eyes rolled up into her head as she collapsed her world going black for a time.

* * *

"This is your little brother Tsuna. His name is Lambo. You have to take care of him okay?" A young teen looked up at her parent the sun blocking out their face and nodded while smiling widely.

"I'll be the best big sister ever!" She cheered happily holding her baby brother close.

 _But I wasn't. Somewhere on the way the love my brothers had for me was corrupted. All of them changed. However, I still loved them as brothers only._

"Tsuna." A teen Lambo stared at the girl who raised him, "I'm in love with you and if I must fight the others for you I will."

 _I don't know why but when the boys I raised reached teenage-hood they would change and come to covet me and want me for themselves. They were my brothers though and I did not want them like that. Did I?_

A purple haired boy pinned a twelve year old Tsuna. "Now, to claim my prize." He stated cockily as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Tsuna's. She flinched away but the boy followed for a moment before pulling back.

"Get away from Juudaime!" A boy with silver short hair yelled.

The purple haired boy smirked at the other and mockingly called. "Are you jealous, Hayato?" Hayato visibly reddened and scowled at the other pulling out dynamite from his pocket.

"Get off Juudaime, Mukuro!" He cried as he lit the dynamite and pitched them in the direction of the other two.

 _Oh, Dad. What should I do? They are starting to scare me with how they act. They all seem to want more them I'm willing to give._

"It makes me so jealous that you give your attention to the others," a voice growled into Tsuna's ear.

"Kyoya. Stop," She gasped the pressure on her back increasing as the boys head fell into the crook of her shoulder. She shivered as his teeth pressed against her skin scraping her neck lightly.

"Your mine." He snarled.

 _Was I a corruptive influence? Did I do something terrible to be punish with this?_

"Someday, I wanna marry you," A little boy said cheerfully a grin on his face. Tsuna looked at her newest younger brother, Takeshi and sighed.

"We can't get married. We are siblings. Siblings don't get married." She explained slowly for the child.

"Then I don't want to be your brother anymore." He stated carelessly. Tsuna smiled even as a spike of pain lashed through her heart.

"Too bad, you'll always be my little brother to me," She said closing her eyes as she faked a grin.

"Nope, and when I'm older we will get married!" He declared loudly ignoring her exasperated sigh.

 _How did it come to this? I don't like this feeling of hate. How can I get rid of it? Get rid of it? That's it! Oh Father you are brilliant!_

"So, Chrome. Where is your other half?" Tsuna tilted her head as she looked at the purple haired pineapple headed girl. Chrome shook her head and shrugged. "Oh, well. Looks like it's just you and me, Chrome," Tsuna grinned happily.

"B-boss? Can I tell you something?" Chromes stuttering brought Tsuna out of her happy thoughts.

"Of course, Chrome. You can tell me anything!" Tsuna locked her eyes on Chromes own to show the strength behind her statement.

"O-okay, here I go. Boss, I love you! As in love-love and not sibling love." Chrome declared her face going extremely red, "I know you don't feel the same way for me now. But I wish to have a chance to court you so that I might earn your heart and I won't take a no for an answer!"

Tsuna froze in shock. "Oya Chrome I didn't think you had the guts to go behind my back like this," Mukuro's voice came from behind Tsuna as he slid an arm around her. "Don't think I'll let you have my Tsuna so easily. She is to be my wife after all."

 _I just have to disappear. To leave Them alone and never go near them again. Then they'll stop fighting and I can be free again. It's a good starting plan. It will take some time to put into place though. First, I'm going to need a sword._

"Hey, Juudaime?" Hayato muttered from his spot beside her on the grass. The sun shined merrily overhead with a cool breeze. It was a perfect day for a picnic. The two of them had decided to do just that.

"Yes Hayato?" Tsuna asked pulling her eyes from her cloud watching to her little brother's form.

"May I have permission to do something?" HE asked not meeting her eyes, his cheeks pink from the sun.

"Sure, I guess," She said not wanting to scare him away when he was being evasive and shy. Her vision was flooded with silver as his chapped lips met hers. His lips were warm and soft but it felt so wrong to Tsuna. Something inside her screamed to pull away and to abort and she listened. She pulled back sharply.

"S-sorry, but when I saw Mukuro kissing you the other day I just couldn't get the thought out of my head. Juudaime, I don't want anyone other than me to kiss you." Hayato hurried to explain. Tsuna shook her head a sad look flashing through her eyes. Another sibling lost to her.

 _Ah, I'm going to have to remove my wings somehow. The spells to hide them are far too easy to break. Oh, father forgive me but I must cut them off. A serrated blade should do the trick I believe and with them I shall remove the chains that they aspire to bind me with._

"Tsuna." The sound of her name pulled her attention away from her book. She looked up into the eyes of her third brother, Ryohei.

"Hey Ryohei. Come to join me for a break?" She smiled happy to see her always far too energetic brother.

"I EXTREMELY heard the other state they intend to court you. I EXTREMELY don't like that and decided to tell you that I have EXREMELY decided that I too shall court you." He stated in a yell. Tsuna looked at him blankly for a moment before turning her attention back to her book.

"Do as you will." Her voice was as calm as ever held a tinge of coldness to it.

 _I will do anything to be free of them. They are not my problem anymore._

 _ **Oh, my child. What have your siblings drove you too? To break your wings and to try to cage your soul. Your true other is out there somewhere. You must find him. I give you a chance to live without them. When you are finally true to your heart and flame then your wings will be recreated to match. Good luck my daughter. Good luck to you.**_


	2. Chapter 2

Tsuna feared she had been unlucky when she had awoken in a comfortable bed with her back bandaged tightly. The room she awoke to was small with only a bed and dresser in it. She sighed in relief. This place was not a part of her prison. She was further relieved when a human woman slowly creaked the door open and poked her head in. "Oh! You're awake!" The woman smiled and it was the most beautiful thing Tsuna had seen in ages. The woman's whole face lite up, her warm brown eyes became caramel colored and her pink lips peeling into a surprised grin. Tsuna hesitated before giving a small smile in return "My name is Nana Sawada but call me Mama. My husband found you on his way home from one of his trips. You gave him quite the shock. He thought you dead at first but luckily you weren't," She chattered joyfully carefully maneuvering into the room a tray balanced against one hip with a bowl and water on it.

"I-," Tsuna hesitated, "I thank you for your assistance and for the bandages. I really must be on my way though."

"You'll not be going anywhere until you wounds are healed," Nana cut Tsuna off, "Your wounds nearly killed you. I don't know what sort of trouble you are in but I cannot let you leave here whilst injured." Nana's lips set into a pursed frown, her eyebrows drawn together slightly. The caramel of her eyes settling back to a deep brown. "Now, I was originally going to give you a sponge bath if you weren't awake but since you are you can wipe the sweat and grim off yourself." She placed the platter on the dresser next to the bed gently. "And don't even bother trying to argue with me over this." She stated firmly, "Or I will have my lovely hubby tie you to that bed for me. Okay?" She smiled and it was quite frankly mildly frightening how threatening a friendly expression could be.

Tsuna nodded her face pale in the face of Nana's politely phrased demands. "Alright, I can do that." She felt a little guilty for lying to the woman but she wouldn't stay and put them in danger not for anything. "Ah, may I ask where my sword is though?" Tsuna asked glancing around the room for the blade again.

"I hid it so that you wouldn't think of running away when I turned my back," Nana admitted with a small grin, "I'll leave you to it then. Just call when you're done and I'll bring you something to eat." Tsuna slumped a little where she had sat half-way up. She had been thoroughly outmaneuvered by a human woman and she knew it.

For a time, Tsuna stayed with the couple that saved her life. The husband was named Iemitsu Sawada and was a vibrant man who shined with his love for his wife. His wife was a kind woman who was ditzy but warm and caring. This is not to say that they didn't have some odd habits. The man liked to sleep around the house in his underwear and the wife insisted on being called Mama.

Despite this Tsuna knew she couldn't stay. Not even if she wanted to, to stay would be to put their lives in danger. Iemitsu seemed to know this too and as Tsuna got better he taught her how to handle the sword she had. How he knew to wield a sword Tsuna didn't care she was simply glad that she had some help. He seemed to know something about where Tsuna had come from but didn't say anything and for that she found herself even more grateful to the couple who were housing her.

Time passed quickly as it does during happy times and soon she was healed, scarred but healed all the same. She knew it would soon be time to move on. Tsuna had been lucky so far to avoid detection from her former family members. She hadn't told the couple her name and they seemed to not mind that she didn't tell them. Iemitsu began calling her Tuna-fishy after the first, and only, time she went fishing with him and somehow caught only tuna fishes in a pond that supposedly only had carp. So, for her stay with them she responded to Tuna-fishy as if it was her name.

It was late one night when she looked at Iemitsu. "I must leave soon." Tsuna said with a sigh.

"I know. So, does Nana, for all that she wants you to stay," Iemitsu responded with a sad smile looking up at the stars, "Whatever you're running from I hope you find someplace safe from whoever hurt you." Tsuna stiffened and clenched her jaw. "Relax," he sighed, "It was obvious from the wounds. Wounds that bad don't just happen by accident." Tsuna nodded slowly her eyes fixed on the man's face watching him, wariness lurking in the forefront of her mind. "Nana will want to pack you a bag. You should head to bed soon if you want to be able to set out in the next few days. I'll get your sword from where it's stashed by Nana in the morning. Sleep well." Iemitsu yawned as he stood up from the porch and headed inside the house. Tsuna sat rooted to the spot. Iemitsu was so strange in her opinion. He just seemed to know what was going on in her mind before she could speak it. He reminded her of her Father, despite how weird it was. She shook her head, despite needing less sleep than a human she still did need to be getting to bed if she planned to make any progress away from her old home. The steps of the porch creaked as she stood and headed indoors to the room the young couple had insisted she use while there.

The next day arrived as it usually did. The sun peaking over the trees and the birds chattering on as the forest lite up in greens and browns. It was a good day to begin traveling, the sky was clear and it seemed like the weather was going to stay nice for quite a while. "Now, dear. You don't have to leave if you don't want to. You could always stay," Nana's hands fluttered and twisted in front of the woman.

Tsuna smiled and reached out to take Nana's hands in hers. "I'll be fine Mama. You know that Iemitsu has been teaching me to use the sword and with me being disguised as a boy no one is likely to try and take advantage of me in that way."

An arm swung around her shoulders nearly had Tsuna's legs buckling beneath her. "Yeah, I taught our cute little Tuna-fishy everything I knew. _He'_ ll be fine after all there is no better teacher than me!" Iemitsu thumbed towards himself his grin bright and overly cheerful.

Tsuna swung the bag at her feet on her shoulder letting it fall with a thump against the scars on her back. Her sword attached firmly to her hip she turned from Nana and ruffled a hand through her short spiky hair. She had never known her hair would spike up like this if she cut it short. Tsuna knew if she turned around she would never want to leave because this place, in the short time she had been here, had become a home for her battered heart. Iemitsu smiled as he watched Tsuna walk away from his and Nana's house, a proud grin on his face but his eyes were grim.

 _ **Good Luck Tsuna of the tenth circle of sky angels. May you find what you're looking for my young daughter.**_


	3. Chapter 3

It wasn't easy for Tsuna to travel alone. She was too used to being around people to having someone with her at all times. The road she traveled on was mostly quiet with exception of the forest around her. The silence wore on her a little as the day moved along. It was sort of nice though being able to move freely, well more freely than she had ever before. With the sun above her and no one telling her to go inside or assaulting her with their advances. She was on her own, her person was her own. This was a heady sort of feeling and though she felt the loss of Iemitsu and Nana dearly as they were the first people who cared for her and wanted nothing in return. She knew she had to move on and move forward. There was something beyond the horizon she wanted to find, places she wanted to explore and the only way to do that was to get moving on the road. Which road she would take in the future was unknown she had so much to explore, to see, to do. It made Tsuna giddy with the prospects of all she could do. She could explore a market and learn to hunt and and and... She laughed aloud turning her head to look at the sky. It was so blue and the clouds moved according to the whims of the wind. She turned her eyes back to the horizon she was chasing taking a few breaths to calm herself.

If she recalled correctly than Iemitsu said the next town was a 2-3 day walk from their cottage. She was excited to see what a real town was like. Being able to explore someplace new, maybe she would be able to see the sea one day. Walking however quickly became boring as the day moved on she began to fret about her brothers she left behind. What if without her around no one stood up for Lambo and they let the others bully him? What if Kyoya and Mukuro got into a huge fight again and destroy the castle they lived in? What if Bel and Squallo realized that they had let her out and the others punished them for it? What if Takeshi got hurt again who would convince him it wasn't the end of the world? Tsuna worried her lip as she walked absently down the road. She shook her head trying to dislodge the thoughts in her head, they were pointless anyway it had been weeks since she had escaped the pretty prison they wanted her to call home and the many broken brothers and sister who wanted to marry her. Did they not realize how gross that thought was to her? They were her siblings and once upon a time they were her friends. She scowled and shifted her bag on he shoulders the scars on her back pulling sorely. The new skin stretching as she moved. The mild pain pulling her out of her thoughts better than anything else.

The sun painted the sky awash with colors as it rested on the horizon showing the end of her first day as a traveler. She stopped and watched for a moment as the sky's colors changed from blue to purple and red to orange as the sun fell below the horizon. It was as the sun was over half gone that she turned from the road. Iemitsu had advised that where possible she camp just off the road behind bush cover when she could. It was good advice now if only he had told her how to start a fire and set up a campsite. After trying for a good half hour and the sun being gone with the moon on the rise she gave up and curled up in the blanket and tent cover Nana had given her. The sky was clear and through the tree branches above Tsuna could count the stars. It was something she had done many times with her sibling in their home when they were children to calm them into sleep. Something she hadn't done in ages as she no longer trusted any of them near her sleeping form. Her room back at the palace had locks on both sides of the doors for a reason as well as having locks on all the windows. One, two, three, four, she counted slowly starting at one end of the sky above her and making her way to the other. As she counted her breathing evened and she dozed off.

* * *

"Hey, Big Sister what's that group of stars over there called?" A small sticky-fingered hand pointed at the sky towards the first stars that lit the horizon.

"That's the group of stars known as the Firsts. Do you remember why we call them the Firsts?" The girl asked as she captured the pointing hand and wiped it off on her handkerchief.

"Haha, of course, I do. They were the first group of angels to exist Big Sister! Before they came the world was in chaos and pain and everyone was driven mad by their sins. The Firsts made laws and rules for the people to follow. And they made more angels to make sure the laws were followed right?" Takeshi canted his head to look up at his sister.

Tsuna smiled eyes soft and nodded," Of course! And do you remember what happened after that?"

"Well Duh! Cause Circles weren't a thing back then! The angels didn't know what to do and started fighting each other. I still don't understand why though. But the Firsts got so angry at the chaos and pain amongst the angels they made the Circles!"

"Good job Takeshi! You remembered all the history we went over the other day~! You are doing so well in your classes! I'm proud of you!" Tsuna ruffled Takeshi's hair causing him to laugh and move away. "Now, how many stars do you think you can count tonight? Do you think you'll count more than me?"

"I can count more than you can tonight!" A gap tooth smile met her own as Takeshi grinned up at her.

"Oh? Is that so little brother? You really believe you can?" She wiggled her fingers against his sides as she scooped him up.

"Yup and definitely more than Gokurdera can!" He boasted. Tsuna laughed and cuddled Takeshi close. Her little brothers could be so funny sometimes.

"Takeshi, Gokudera hasn't even learned to count yet silly boy~! Plus he's already asleep back home~" She giggled as Takeshi let out a bright burst of laughter.

 _I wish those days had never come to an end... but that's the nature of time I guess the world is always changing..._


End file.
